But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Randomize
