You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
