booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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