giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
