Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
