The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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