Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize