shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
MIDGETS
????
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize