from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
