"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
