Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
