im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
