i don't like sucking hair
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
