I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
