Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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