A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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