Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So vagazzling was a success
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