two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We named our party play list daddy issues
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
