So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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