Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
