i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
