You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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