Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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