I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
