ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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