Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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