just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
