I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
