remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
