Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
