He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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