I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
