belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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