I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
