He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
