wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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