We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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