you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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