Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
