Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
