Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
