Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
