I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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