there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
