found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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