I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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