i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
