so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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