he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize