it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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