plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
