theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
