I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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