Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize