I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize