I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
