Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
