Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Plan B is the new Plan A
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
