His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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