he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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