i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
