Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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