i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
