how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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