Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
