Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
