Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
