Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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