So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
