no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
