Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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