i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
