I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
