Even water is tasting like jack daniels
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
