she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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