I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
