Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
