yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
